the Underminer

Frenemy A.L. from Ottawa is in town for the weekend. He is quite agoraphobic, and ever the underminer, especially when outside of his hotel room. Denigrates me and others when he feels vulnerable and insecure, still diagnosing and pathologizing everyone around him, refusing to take responsibility for his failure at virtually everything he has attempted: literature student, hairdresser, social worker, financial adviser, and now dogwalker. Refers to himself as an entrepreneur, but even the term 'dilettante' is too generous. He needs constant reassurance that he doesn't look 40, that he seems saner than before, bla, bla, bla. I can't say he's much worse off. More a broken record, but I suppose being 40, rather than 28 and in his state of permanent inertia could be seen as a turn for the worse.

Am listening to 'This Boy's in Love', by the Presets. Quite good.

Mother and stepfather were in town on Friday. We met after work, walked to 'l'Express' for dinner. Bad service, Mom announced as we began the walk that she was probably going to trip, which of course she did about 2 minutes later, landing hands-first on the sidewalk. I barely reacted, simply saying 'Mom', in a really disdainful way, and barely responding. Ted was much more helpful. I don't care, I am totally put off by her extreme clumsiness, which I attribute to her increasing distractedness and extreme nervousness. I still remember our huge argument last year in NYC, when I blew up at her after about the tenth time she stumbled and landed on me. When I suggest she should maybe see a doctor, she gets testy. And her main excuse is that she likes to look at the architecture and scenery, as if that and walking are mutually exclusive. She always has at least one major bruise on her body, usually the result of a fall. She has to do something, or risk possible serious injury. Either deal with the problem or reduce activities. But I would be insincere to suggest I am concerned, as I personally doubt it's medical at all. I think it's part of her helpless child act, acting like a distracted idiot and letting others do the thinking and handle the logistics, but that it's getting worse with age, and manifesting more as physical clumsiness than in the past.