So, it seems to have been nearly 2 months since my last post. Sorry. By way of explanation, let's say it's a combination of laziness, and the death 3 weeks ago of my father. He died of melanoma, had been sick for a bit over 2 months. Very quick. I was planning to visit sometime in February, but kept getting conflicting messages: he's doing well, maybe you should come soon, next week, tomorrow if you can, no, today. Call us as soon as you can, (tearfully) your father just died. Went home the night of his death, funeral plans were already underway. This was a bit of a surprise, because I was assured he wanted a religious (Greek Orthodox) funeral. A lot of stuff was decided quite hastily, by my father's galpal, without consulting my brother or me. Some of this may not have been out of malice or inconsiderateness. She is merely a bit of a madwoman who is incapable of relaxing or procrastinating. So when the doctor asked her what we wanted done with the body, she just answered no autopsy, even though she legally had little right to unilaterally make the decision. The idea of delaying a decision would be unfathomable to her. When I asked her why she didn't wait for us, she burst into tears and said she didn't know. The woman is basically an idiot, a child-woman, 60 years old and only interested in children (especially her grandkids), shopping and organizing. It is nearly impossible to have a conversation with her. While I have no doubt she really loved my father, I do doubt he loved her. He seemed to tolerate her, at best, rarely listening to her, often ignoring her, ordering her around, and sometimes quite nastily castigating her in front of us. They had little in common, but were together for nearly 27 years, which simply proves to me that its longevity should never be used to demonstrate the strength or success of a relationship. Anyway, the week in Halifax dealing with the funeral and other arrangements was sheer hell, and it's going to continue for a while. It was very much the J--- show (said galpal's name), and my brother and I felt a bit pushed to the side, which is partly understandable, as we have seldom returned home in the last 18 years or so. My honest feeling is that my father did not consider J--- and her kids to be his family, but this was the prevailing theme of the week. I didn't consider them family, despite my belief that 'blended families' can indeed work. My father's and J---'s relationship always felt tentative, not totally serious to me, and this seems borne out by the facts. His newest will (unsigned), which was done in January or so, when he knew he was probably dying, was the first in which she was mentioned as a beneficiary, and in it she is referred to as his 'friend'. He seemed to do everything possible to avoid her being considered a common-law spouse. If I were her, I might ask myself a few questions about this, but that would require a bit of self-examination, and I think her life is all activity, no reflection, definitely not the examined life. OK, so yes, there is a hell of a lot of barely suppressed anger and bitterness in all of this. If anything, it's just increased my rather cynical view of family and domesticity. And it's far from over. Much remains to be done in the coming months.